Best Thing You Never Had

Okay, well maybe you did “have” me but you don’t no more.

It all started in high school — siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Junior year I crossed a boy in the hallways and then we sat next to each other in History class. I thought he talked too much; handsome, but quite a chatterbox. Then, one day after lunch, I see him holding hands with this girl. She was cute. Simple. However, the hunting lioness in me saw competition determined to best – the best thing you never had.

I Wanted to be His E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

He added me on Facebook first. Then we exchanged numbers. I initiated conversations through text him. I asked questions about his relationship and plans after graduation. School started at 7:30 am and I would wake up early ya’ll to get cute just to walk past his ass. How could I forget the time I found out where he worked that I drove there after school; wrong site. Eventually, I got him. He wasn’t mine but he was there.

Oh, College…

It wasn’t until I moved into a single room dorm that we had our first encounter. It was actually in a car on dim street and it was the first time THEY said MY name. Kudos to Brittney! We started to make time for love sessions in between classes (he went to a different school). We discussed our feelings with each other and how it was always the wrong time: he was with somebody; I was with somebody. Although we both tried it was never right until…

He Asked Me Out!!!

Perfect timing! He’s single! I’m single! Let’s mingle! We planned to meet at the mall for a movie after his shift. At this time it is crucial to point out he also worked in the said mall. I got dressed, snatched, beat — all dat. “Where are you going?” my mother asked. “On a date! Yes, with a man!” Oh, she was so happy for me. I checked my phone one last time before grabbing my coat and I had a message that read: “hey I got off work early so I went home. Let’s reschedule.” Fuck you mean you meant home??? Devastated I lied and told him I was out-of-town when I wasn’t leaving for another 4. How could he?

Call me Mrs.Lawry cause I’m Salty

At this time in my life, I was still very emotional. Sadness, disappointment, embarrassment, and anger flooded me. It also killed my ego. While undressing I began to analyze the situation: the movie starts at 11; mall closes at 10; he got off early at 9. Why not go home, shower and come back, right? How come we couldn’t catch any earlier viewing to accommodate? Was work really that stressful today? Was I not worth the ride back to the mall? I commanded myself not to cry. Instead, I finished packing, laid in my bed, packed a bowl and streamed Nurse Jackie on Netflix.

The Aftermath

We didn’t speak for a long time after that because I couldn’t bring myself to engage. I still have fucking questions! Through mutual friends we would be in the same room talking around each other; it was stupid. He will always be a dear friend of mine; we have memories but it’ll never be the same. We hung out solo a couple times but it’s awkward now. Just this morning he hit me up on Messenger to ask if I were now involved which I am _____. To this day it continues to bother me and I’m not gonna lie — I cried after we finished talking. You folded on a Royal Flush.

#SorrynotSorry.

Photo cred: giphy.com

 

Begin the Formation

Okay Ladies Now Let’s Get in Formation

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be everything to everybody. We as in black women. At this stage in our lives we’re overstressed and downright tired. Many of us are graduating, getting married and having babies. Some of us are settling into our careers and sustaining households. Our parents are getting older and police brutality is making a comeback. Now is the time to begin the formation to the woman you were born to be.

This my sh*t. I make the rules around this bihh.

I solely make the decisions about what goes up and/or what should come down. No woman ever made history being timid.
This February I intended to write a piece that celebrated and recognized Black people. I wanted to pull inspiration from everything BLACK going on: the Image Awards, ESSENCE Black Women in Hollywood, yes – the O.J. story and of course the countless accounts that we have all been told. It was as if I was waiting for a spark of inspiration to emerge from mainstream media with accounts on “blackness”. But that doesn’t make any sense.

Celebrate Every Day of the Year

Black history is made every day and it ain’t enough to read and retweet about it. Gotta be out here living it.Gotta be out here leading. As a Black person, what history have you made today? Are you even in the process? I call myself a writer but I’ve noticed that I don’t actually spend that much time writing. I wonder how many extra hours of practice Cam Newton put in during the off-season? How many rehearsals did it take Taraji to get those lines perfect? I heard Beyoncé shot a video for 72 hours straight. My black is beautiful, my history – strong; so it’s not this month but my history is in the making. Prepare for the saga —

Aye yo, B – begin the formation.
Photo Cred: Pinterest

 

Who TF is Beck???

 

Album of the Year – Grammy’s 2015

I think it’s a fair statement to say that all music outlets have been steadily declining over the last decade. BET has been garbage since the day Free and Aj left, MTV has been MTV and VH1 thrives on depicting negative images of women of color into the media. We’re not getting quality music anymore because that isn’t the focus. The biggest award of the night had everyone screaming, “Who TF is Beck?”

We Don’t Need White Approval

We can all outright agree that the Grammy’s indeed sucked. No one is watching award shows anymore for the music but rather to see what’s the real flavor of the tea and to throw shade on Twitter. The Grammy’s sucked because it did not represent all categories in ways that they should have.

Taylor Swift, Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran – they were all nominated in the same categories. How about some variety? How about other real good, songs and not those that were catchy? The Grammy’s, I believe, is intentionally leaving out certain types of music and people. Did we see the nominees for “Best Rap Album”? So are we just going to act like Cole, Nicki, YG, Rick Ross and Jeezy didn’t have albums last year? We get mediocre music when we don’t commend true compilations of work. And maybe I went for a bathroom break, but I don’t remember they even showing Best Rap Album live…..?

Kanye.

So, Kanye is like the President to the Board of Directors for the Beyhive. First, this is not to take away from the artist that Beck is but who. the. hell. is. he? Album of the year? Nah. Album of the year suggests that this album was/is a classic and E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E knew about it. I didn’t know about Beck’s album in the last year, did you?

I hate hearing how Beyoncé needs four people to help with one song while Beck writes all his own and claims that artistry needs to be defended…..yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwnnnnnn. Is the president still considered the “president” even though there is a house and senate? Is your mama not really your mama because she hired a nanny? Have several seats.

Like For real, Who is He?

Album of the year should have gone to the woman who dropped an album in the middle of the night, with no fair warning and kept it relevant for over a year without promotion. Did I forget to mention that this album sparked a successful international tour and an equally successful joint tour? This album had so much buzz that it was re-released, no promotion, with six new songs.

Beck may be a great artist but ‘Album of Year’ was not his award. It was Beyonce’s.

Who do you think deserved the award? How and why has the quality of music declined?

Beyoncé’s a Feminist or Whatever

What Makes a Feminist – Let’s Ask Wendy dumbass

Friday, October 24th, on the Wendy Williams Show they discussed Beyoncé and feminism for ‘Hot Topics’ at the round table where they compared her twerking and thrusting on stage to Sandra Bullock making the same amount of money as George Clooney in a film. If you, Ali Wentworth and essentially, Wendy Williams, want to discuss feminism and having the right to claim that, let’s begin with Beyoncé’s career and accolades:

A Star in the Making

1990 – At the age of 9 she performed on Star Search with her girl group “Girls Tyme” and lost.

1998 – At 17, Beyoncé as the lead singer of ‘Destiny’s Child‘ released their self-titled début album with their first single “No, No, No” which established the group as a viable music act in the music industry

1999 – Destiny’s Child released their second album, “The Writings on the Wall” when Beyoncé was 18. The album went on to sell more than 8 million records worldwide.

2001 – Now at 21, Destiny’s Child released the album “Survivor” which gave us songs like ‘Independent Women’ and ‘Survivor’. They sold over a half a million records in its’ first week. Destiny’s Child became the #1 girl group of all time.

You were still declaring a major when she was leading the best girl group ever. Thirteen years later, with 5 successful solo albums and shutting down the power at the Superbowl XLVII for a full halftime 15-minute performance – why are people tripping?

Let’s Snatch Wigs with Straight Facts

• 15 million records sold in the U.S.

• 118 Million records sold worldwide

• Best record of winning the most Grammy’s in one night – 6

• 17 Grammy’s

• 2009 Artist of the Decade

• Guinness Book of World Records as a couple with husband, Jay-Z, being worth 122 million

• 2011 Billboard Millennium Award

• 10 movies (questionable acting, yes) rolling in a lifetime gross of over $600 billion

•7 fragrances with a reported $400 million in sales making them the highest selling celebrity fragrances of all time

•Headlined 4 successful tours

• As of June 2014 is at an estimated net worth of 450 million

• She’s only 33!

Feminists on Bullshit

Who decided that women attacking and dragging each other down was feminism? What woman said the CEO of a fortune 500 is more of a feminist than the woman than the stay-at-home mom? Who decided that it has to be one or the other and not both? Women decided that. Women are attempting to decide for other women what should bring purpose and fulfillment to their lives.

Name a man, another woman – a black woman at that. You can’t and yet you want to take away her title? How dare you.

 

White Women Can’t Speak on the Culture

Ali Wentworth pipes in how Betty Friedan never “twerked”. Honey child nobody “twerked” in 1963 and if white women today aren’t buying asses left and right simply to twerk. Women weren’t making boss ass moves in the sixties as they are in 2014. Women are game-changing shot callers now!

As a woman, if you want to buy a house – you work, save your money and buy it yourself. Do you want that corner office? Put in overtime for that motherfucker. Be an independent woman and don’t rely on any man – Beyoncé taught me. You want respect in your career and to be taken seriously as a woman then you force them to take you seriously; Beyoncé taught me.

Feminism Can Be Empowering!

To say that feminism is not about getting on stage and empowering then that’s ignorance on your part. Feminism is empowerment: giving women a reason to lift themselves up and be proud of who they are. Feminism is being a boss in everything that you touch; giving your very best effort but still maintaining yourself in your feminine nature. If the “original” white feminist weren’t fighting for women’s right to CHOOSE then what the fuck was they doing it for?

Why can’t Black women publicly admit that she is killing the game and chooses to be sexy along the way? Would it be better if she asked you for permission? How dare Annie Lennox to say Beyoncé should not dance provocatively for the sake of young viewers? Homegirl needs to take a look at Who Is Raising Our Daughters?  Shame on you to allow your seven-year-old daughter to chant along as Beyoncé sings performing fellatio on her husband in the backseat of a limo.

Feminism Was Designed for “White Women Only”

Beyoncé is the epitome of working your ass in your 20’s so when you hit 30 you can parade around Paris looking for yet another place to call home with your just as successful husband and beautiful child. Do you want to talk feminism in terms of Sandra Bullock earning the same amount of money as a male colleague in a movie yet you shame Beyoncé for her dancing?

First of all, Sandra isn’t feminism – its equality. During the Civil Rights Movement, they fought for the right to be able to eat, drink and be in the same facility as whites where the purpose was to fight for equal and fair treatment, they didn’t call it “Blackism”. You may have been more radical like the big X or opted for a more peaceful approach like the reverend but either way they both contributed to the movement. No one knocks that. Being paid the same amount of money whether you are male, female, young, old, black or white is called equality. Not feminism.

Did She Send for You??

Every single ounce of Beyoncé’s career has been well thought out and calculated and I’ve said it before, you do not have to like her music, her clothes or her fragrance but that does not take away from the fact that the woman EARNED everything she has been given and didn’t have to compromise her integrity to get it.

What more do you want from her? What else could she possibly do that will break down more barriers for musicians, entertainers, wives, mothers, black women – women in general? When your chilling in Cuba for your wedding anniversary, chit-chatting with the President and his wife, making more money than you have any idea what to do with, raising a daughter; have been with the same man for over a decade looking just like you did when you first met him, in red bottoms holding 17 Grammy’s, come holla at me. On behalf of the Queen herself and the rest of the beyhive – this B has spoken.

I’m out.

 

Photo cred: giphy.com & MTV.com